Monday, September 17, 2012

GRATITUDE - September 17, 2012


Anyone with a 14 year old teen in the house understands the difficulty in "quality communication" with your child.  First, they don't regard themselves as a 'child' and resent the implication that they are no less than a qualified adult ...unless that adult is over thirty and then any of 'those' have passed, unfortunately, from all-knowing adult hood to unknowing  'dolt hood' and any teen knows meaningful communication is, at a minimum,  frustrating, as 'old' people 'don't get it' and never will (until the teen reaches thirty and have their own children and then their parents get to be 'normal' again).  An odd twilight zone experience  parents go through from their offspring's age 12-25 years.  My three grown sons and I can actually have good conversations (helped along by them not asking for money and me not offering too much advice...I would say no advice offered, but I occasionally can't help Mom did the same thing to me when I was 50 and a corporate president and still incapable of safely lighting fireworks on the Fourth of July).

Barely concealed teenage angst boils over with the mere hint of any suggestion regarding household responsibilities, chores, homework, housework, pet responsibility or God Forbid, recommended appropriate attire before heading to a dance or school.

"Got any homework tonight?"-- hmmm - those are in-your-face fighting words.  Same category as "That huge pimple on the end of your nose is really gross."  There is no point in asking to help on homework, as they would rather have the cat advise them (and you probably wouldn't understand the assignment anyway...whew).

All that said.  My daughter understands that I love her and at the end of the day, when it is time to be tucked in, our relationship is good again for the two minutes she takes to fall asleep and for the next eight hours while she sleeps...only to be derailed at 6:30 am when it is time to start the day.  "OMG. I can't believe you are being so mean to me!!!".....because I turned on the light and said "Time to get up honey, today is a school day...what do you want for breakfast?"  God forbid that it also be picture day, a bad hair day, a test day, homework due day, a rainy day, a hot day, a Monday, running late day, missing earring day, bad Tweets/Facebook day...and so on.  Then parents are the last straw in an otherwise already immensely stressful day.  And, we are doing it on purpose.

I am being totally unreasonable, when my cell phone rings, I answer it and it is my daughter in the next room, requesting that I stop what I am doing, come to where she is and hand her a book that is two feet away because she is tired and can't reach that far and then bring her a bowl of ice cream and a soda.  My gales of laughter, as I walk away back to what I was doing, does not bode well for my designated servant/chauffeur role.

But, that said, those last two minutes of each day are to be cherished and I am sure will grow like a sound investment over time.  I am grateful for the two minutes.


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